Japanese Vocabulary: Relationships, Love and Friendship

Love, friendship and relationships are among the topics Japanese learners most want to talk about, and yet the words are often harder than expected. Both 恋 and 愛 mean "love" but are used differently; 友達 and 親友 are not the same; and a confession of feelings has its own name: 告白 (kokuhaku). This list groups the essential terms by situation, from the first spark of attraction to marriage, friendship and everyday respect.

The list works for quick reference and for learning in small doses. Every entry gives the Japanese word in kanji, the romaji and the English meaning, so you can pronounce it and place it in context right away. At the end you will find further reading on love in Japanese, on kokuhaku and dating and on Japanese family members.

Contents 6

Love and falling in love

Japanese distinguishes between 恋 (koi) and 愛 (ai): the first is closer to falling in love and longing, the second to deep, lasting love. Around these two sit many words for heart flutters, crushes and one-sided feelings.

• 恋 (koi) romantic love, being in love
• 愛 (ai) deep love, affection
• 恋愛 (ren’ai) love, romance, romantic relationship
• 好き (suki) to like, to love
• 大好き (daisuki) to like very much, to love a lot
• 愛しい (itoshii) dear, beloved, lovable
• 愛情 (aijō) affection, love
• 慈愛 (jiai) tender love, especially parental love
• 惚れる (horeru) to fall in love
• 一目惚れ (hitomebore) love at first sight
• 片思い (kataomoi) unrequited love
• 初恋 (hatsukoi) first love
• 恋心 (koigokoro) love, awakening of love
• 悲恋 (hiren) unhappy or doomed love
• 同性愛 (dōseiai) homosexuality
• ドキドキする (dokidoki suru) to have a pounding heart
• きゅんきゅんする (kyunkyun suru) to feel a flutter in the heart
• 切なくなる (setsunaku naru) to feel a bittersweet ache
• 会いたい (aitai) to miss someone, to want to see them
• 想い (omoi) thought, feeling, longing
• 感情 (kanjō) emotion, feeling
• 気持ち (kimochi) feeling, state of mind

Dating: from confession to relationship

In Japan a relationship often begins with a clear confession, the 告白 (kokuhaku). Once two people agree to be together, they "go out with each other": 付き合う (tsukiau). The words below follow that path from the first invitation to the engagement ring.

• 告白する (kokuhaku suru) to confess one’s feelings
• 付き合う (tsukiau) to go out, to date, to be in a relationship
• デート (dēto) date, going out together
• 遊びに行く (asobi ni iku) to go out, to spend time together
• 恋人 (koibito) lover, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend
• 恋仲 (koinaka) being in love with each other
• 恋路 (koiji) romance, love’s path
• 彼氏 (kareshi) boyfriend
• 彼女 (kanojo) girlfriend
• ボーイフレンド (bōifurendo) boyfriend
• ガールフレンド (gārufurendo) girlfriend
• キス (kisu) kiss, to kiss
• 抱きしめる (dakishimeru) to hug, to embrace
• 約束 (yakusoku) promise, commitment
• ラブレター (rabu retā) love letter
• 恋文 (koibumi) love letter (literary)
• ハニー (hanī) honey, sweetheart
• ダーリン (dārin) darling
• プロポーズ (puropōzu) marriage proposal

Marriage, breakups and jealousy

Marriage and separation come with a set of fixed terms, and even jealousy has its own word. 焼餅 (yakimochi) means jealousy in everyday speech, although literally it is a roasted rice cake.

• 婚約 (kon’yaku) engagement
• 婚約者 (kon’yakusha) fiancé, fiancée
• 結婚する (kekkon suru) to marry, to get married
• 結婚式 (kekkon shiki) wedding ceremony
• 夫婦 (fūfu) married couple
• 妻 / 奥さん (tsuma / oku-san) wife
• 夫 / ご主人 (otto / goshujin) husband
• 新婚旅行 (shinkon ryokō) honeymoon
• 独身 (dokushin) single, unmarried
• 離婚 (rikon) divorce
• 別れる (wakareru) to break up, to separate
• 振られる (furareru) to be rejected, to be dumped
• 失恋 (shitsuren) heartbreak, disappointed love
• 傷つく (kizutsuku) to get hurt
• 裏切る (uragiru) to betray, to cheat on
• 浮気 (uwaki) cheating, an affair
• 嫉妬 (shitto) jealousy, envy
• 焼餅 (yakimochi) jealousy (colloquial)

Friendship and acquaintances

Japanese is precise about how close a friendship is. 友達 (tomodachi) is the general word, 親友 (shinyū) means close friends, and 知り合い (shiriai) describes people you simply know. School and online friendships have their own terms too.

• 友達 (tomodachi) friend, friends
• 親友 (shinyū) best friend, close friend
• 幼馴染 (osananajimi) childhood friend
• 仲間 (nakama) companion, comrade, fellow member
• 知り合い (shiriai) acquaintance
• 同級生 (dōkyūsei) classmate
• 級友 (kyūyū) classmate (formal)
• ネッ友 (net-tomo) online friend (slang)

Family and living together

Family words come up in almost every conversation about relationships. Japanese also distinguishes between your own family and someone else’s family, much like the language does with politeness levels.

• 家族 (kazoku) family
• 両親 (ryōshin) parents
• 兄弟 (kyōdai) siblings, brothers
• 姉妹 (shimai) sisters
• 親戚 (shinseki) relatives
• 祖父母 (sofubo) grandparents
• 従兄弟 (itoko) cousin

Feelings, compliments and respect

Finally, the words of everyday interaction: compliments, trust and the polite relationships at work. Be careful with 変態 (hentai) and エッチ (etchi): they are colloquial and explicit.

• 信じる (shinjiru) to believe, to trust
• 嫌い (kirai) to dislike, to hate
• 大嫌い (daikirai) to hate, to dislike strongly
• 傷 (kizu) wound, injury
• 可愛い (kawaii) cute, sweet
• きれい (kirei) beautiful, pretty, clean
• 美しい (utsukushii) beautiful
• 美人 (bijin) beautiful woman
• イケメン (ikemen) good-looking man
• 色っぽい (iroppoi) sexy, alluring
• 男性 (dansei) man, male
• 女性 (josei) woman, female
• 少年 (shōnen) boy, youth
• 少女 (shōjo) girl, young woman
• 感じる (kanjiru) to feel, to sense
• 変態 (hentai) pervert, perverted (colloquial)
• エッチ (etchi) sexual, dirty (colloquial)
• 上司 (jōshi) boss, superior
• 部下 (buka) subordinate
• 同僚 (dōryō) colleague
• 先輩 (senpai) senior colleague or student

One sentence to practise: 好きです (suki desu) means "I like you" and, depending on the situation, can also mean "I love you". For a stronger version, use 大好きです (daisuki desu). Which words would you add to the list? Leave them in the comments.

If you want to go deeper, read 50 ways to say I love you in Japanese, the guide to romantic expressions and love phrases, or the article on dating in Japan. There is also a piece on hitomebore and love at first sight, and for friendship vocabulary, 13 ways to say friend in Japanese. Around February, the guide to Valentine’s Day and White Day in Japan is a good companion.