Kiss in Japan - How is it viewed? Kissing in public?

Many know that Japanese culture disapproves of kissing in public, even pecks. But is it true that nowadays Japanese people do not kiss in public? How do they view this?

We can notice that even in animes and doramas, a kiss can end up being rare. Many successful romantic doramas sometimes do not feature any kisses. How do Japanese people view kissing? A 2012 survey conducted by SK Planet Japan with 400 men and women aged 20 to 30 who had already kissed reveals interesting things about kissing, a topic that is still often treated as taboo.

About 60% of respondents have kissed only up to five people. 90% of women said that not all of their kisses led to a relationship. In other words, many women confirmed that they are willing to kiss just because they want to. Casual kissing has become common in Japan; it is no longer that promise it used to be. At the same time, a later nationwide youth study by the Japan Association for Sex Education in the 2023/24 school year found that only about 23% of high-school boys and 28% of high-school girls had ever kissed at all.

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The culture of kissing in Japan

Although many young people today are not ashamed to kiss, or even to kiss strangers, it is still difficult to find a "kissing" situation when their shy nature undermines their courage to approach girls. Some resort to group dates to get closer and find a relationship in Japan. During school life, many Japanese start a relationship, but sometimes they do not even have the courage to kiss.

Some often say that kissing in Japan only happens when both parties want sex, a big stereotype, a big lie. It is true that many prefer to do this in the comfort of their homes, and some couples may not kiss all the time, like when going to work and coming home. It is a fact that Japanese people feel shy and do not like to show affection in public.

Another thing that hinders kissing in public is school rules and youth-protection ordinances. Many schools frown on dating, and prefectures often have extra rules for people under 18. There is no nationwide law that simply bans relationships between students under 18 without parental consent. Although Japan is an open country and does not interfere in others' lives, many end up feeling shocked or bothered when they see people kissing in public.

• There are legends that say that kissing was prohibited by Tokugawa due to the tuberculosis epidemic that haunted Japan at the time;
• Despite Japan's conservative culture, some children and teenagers have been using kissing on the cheek as a greeting;

Japanese women seem to like being kissed on the neck.

The kiss was also called kuchisui (口吸い), which can be literally translated as mouth sucking. A more literary native word is kuchizuke (口づけ). When the West influenced Japan during the Meiji era, the common kiss was called seppun (接吻), which can be literally translated as lip touch. Over time, the more common term came from the English kiss (kisu - キス).

• キスする - kisu suru - to kiss; キスして - kisu shite - “kiss me”
• チュー / チュウ - chuu - Onomatopoeia for kiss
• Kissu (キッス) can also be understood as kiss. (Or the name of the band Kiss);

Kissing in public in Japan?

Although it seems like a taboo, and is rare, it is not unusual to find people holding hands or hugging in public in large urban areas of Japan. A deep kiss on the street is still much rarer. This is because many young people today are being influenced by Western media and are getting on board. In reality, interviews reveal that Japanese women feel more comfortable kissing in public when it is with a foreigner.

Perhaps many do not kiss in public due to the lack of initiative from men. Some say they would not feel ashamed if they were in romantic settings. In cities like Osaka and Tokyo, holding hands is easier to spot than in the countryside; passionate kisses remain the exception. See our guide on when to kiss in Japan by clicking here.

Just because Japanese people do not kiss or show affection in public does not mean they are not affectionate; they just show it differently. The fact is that Japanese people are people like anywhere else. And all people are different and have different preferences. I myself am Brazilian and do not go around kissing anyone who is not considered my girlfriend. But I also would not be ashamed to kiss in public, even in Japan.

Kissing strangers in public?

To conclude, I will leave a note about those clips showing foreigners trying to kiss Japanese strangers on the streets. I am not very fond of this kind of prank, but who am I to criticize.

But it is interesting to see the reactions and opinions, to see how they refuse, or even some who accept and kiss without any shame. Don't think it's easy for them to accept because these videos usually only show the successes. If you really want to understand how a relationship in Japan often begins, look at the kokuhaku rather than a surprise kiss on the street.