What is the meaning of Netorare NTR?

Netorare, also known as NTR, is a subgenre of anime, manga and other media that revolves around betrayal in romantic relationships. These stories explore infidelity between partners, whether they are dating, married or tied by any other kind of commitment.

They are usually told from the perspective of the betrayed person, who in most cases is portrayed as a man. This article looks at where the word comes from, how these stories are usually built and why this kind of betrayal provokes such strong reactions.

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The meaning of the word Netorare

Netorare [寝取られ] is the noun form of the passive of the verb netoru [寝取る], which means "to steal another person's spouse or lover." The term describes the position of the person whose partner is taken, which is why English dictionaries gloss it as "cuckolding."

The word is built on two kanji: [寝], "to sleep" or "to go to bed," and [取], "to take," "to grab" or "to steal." Japanese characters combine meanings instead of standing for single words, which is one reason machine translation handles the term badly.

In practice, netorare also appears in katakana (ネトラレ) and in the abbreviated form NTR, with no change in meaning. Google Translate turns 寝取られ into "cuckold," losing the passive idea of having a partner taken away. For this kind of lookup, a dictionary such as jisho.org is more reliable.

The abbreviation NTR appeared on Japanese message boards around 2001 and ended up becoming the standard way to refer to the genre. Its main objective is to evoke jealousy in the audience by showing the protagonist losing a loved one, who is seduced by someone else. The word family around netoru covers the other sides of the story: netori (寝取り) names the perspective of the person who takes, and netorase (寝取らせ) describes the case in which the betrayed partner knows about the affair and, up to a point, accepts it. The polite forms netorimasu and netorimashita are simply conjugations of the same verb.

Anime and manga about netorare

Readers who look up the term are usually after Japanese works. Whether anime or manga, the audience seems to enjoy watching someone else's suffering, and this mix of love and hate is part of the genre's pull.

Most titles in this category are hentai, but the theme also shows up in ecchi and romance stories without explicit scenes, such as White Album, a series about music and romance adapted from an adult visual novel by Leaf.

If you want titles rather than definitions, the list of the 20 best NTR anime about betrayal gathers several series in which infidelity and jealousy drive the plot.

Loyalty vs. Reality

To understand the true "soul" of the netorare genre, it is essential to understand the meaning of loyalty. After all, for betrayal to occur, there must be some degree of loyalty, even if it is unilateral. If you are not yet familiar with the concept, here is a summary:

Loyalty is the practice of being faithful, demonstrating care and respect for someone or something. It involves consistency in the commitments made to other people.

With these terms clarified, we can deepen our explanation of netorare. To begin with, betrayal is something common in many types of anime, manga and other genres. If this seems confusing, think of that cliché where the villain eventually changes sides and joins the hero.

This type of betrayal can also be found in various stories, but netorare moves it into a romantic and intimate context, usually involving the loss of a partner to another person. While the villain betrays for power or friendship alliances, in netorare the betrayed person is emotionally closer, which makes the impact much more personal.

In some cases the intimacy between the two partners is even greater than the bond between villain and hero, and the loss is explored with an intensity meant to trigger jealousy and even despair in the audience.

Why is romantic betrayal so shocking?

You have probably heard the phrase "nothing lasts forever." It applies to everything: even the universe will not last forever.

Even so, many people hold on to the belief that love is eternal. The idea is so deeply rooted in society that love ends up treated as something sacred.

So far we have been talking about love in general, because it takes many forms. Here, one of them matters: the love between partners.

Books and movies often show one person doing everything for the other, but they leave out some details. Over time, that love can fade, and sometimes it ends.

I believe this belief, together with how rarely other views are discussed, is why romantic betrayals shock us so much. Of course, I am generalizing: these things affect most people, but they are not universal.

Development of Netorare

In this type of Japanese genre, it is usually the woman who betrays the man with another man, but other setups also exist, such as betrayal with another woman or between two men. The possibilities are many, and the one constant is that someone betrays their partner.

Because women are more often the ones who betray, the examples here follow that type. Take the cliché: the woman cheats on her partner with another man. As in most cases, we watch the situation from the perspective of the protagonist, the one who was "replaced." From his side, they had the perfect relationship. He talked to her normally, went out with her, had fun together, had some spicy moments, and so on.

It really seems that the woman is wrong in this case, but before we throw the first stone, let's ask what led her to do this. We will then see from her point of view what the relationship was like, after going through some reasons that lead women to look for another partner (attention: for men who identify with the theme, I advise you to pay close attention).

Reasons for Betrayal

Distance: Whether physical or emotional, a lack of closeness wears the relationship down over time, and that wear often ends in betrayal.

Neediness: If one partner does not get the affection or attention they expect, they may look for it in someone else. The absence of affection makes betrayal easier.

Betrayal: It may seem paradoxical, but just as kindness begets kindness, betrayal also begets betrayal. A mistake can easily trigger a spiral of distrust and infidelity.

Time: As mentioned before, nothing lasts forever. When love comes to an end, what remains are two people sharing an empty relationship. When both have difficulty accepting this, they look for satisfaction elsewhere, even if they do not admit it.

Having feelings for another person: Although less common, it also occurs. The person remains in a relationship only as an attempt to forget someone they still have feelings for. It is a temporary solution, and if the loved one gives any sign of reciprocity, betrayal is almost inevitable.

Lack of sex in the relationship: In my opinion, women value sex as much as men do, although they often hesitate to admit it due to cultural pressures. The lack of sex can reflect the absence of care, affection and pleasure in the relationship, which can eventually lead to the loss of fidelity.

Jealousy: Excessive jealousy is fatal for any relationship. As they say, "whoever seeks, finds," or "a lie repeated a thousand times becomes the truth." Constant distrust corrodes the relationship, opening doors to infidelity.

Lack of innovation: Monotony, like jealousy, is a great enemy of relationships. When life as a couple becomes predictable and boring, irritation and emotional weariness take over, making the relationship unbearable. The ending, in these cases, is almost always the same.

These are some of the reasons why many men in Japanese society end up allowing betrayal to infiltrate their relationships. How the country deals with the legal and family side of infidelity is the subject of Infidelity and Divorce in Japanese Marriage.

Points of View in Netorare

As promised, we now turn to her side of the relationship. The protagonist was simply not interesting to her. In her view, the two had a routine that was good at first, but over time it became predictable and dull.

She knew what today, tomorrow and every day after would look like. It became monotonous and boring, and she did not want that anymore.

Why did she not say anything? That can happen, but in this case the two suffered from another problem that is also on the list above: distance.

Being in a relationship does not mean being intimate with the other person. It takes months or years to grow close enough, and decades to almost fully understand a partner.

From his point of view, the relationship was perfect. They were not close enough for him to know what she was thinking, and she was not secure enough to say she wanted new things. With both points of view in hand, each reader can decide whom to blame.

After the betrayal

There are cases where the couple separates, others where they stay together without one of them knowing about the betrayal, and still others where the betrayed partner finds out and does not want to separate.

In the first case, the commitment ends for both sides; in the second, it survives as long as the truth stays hidden; in the third, whether it survives depends on the couple.

All three endings fit this Japanese genre. The most common one is the case in which one side breaks fidelity. In the example above, the woman betrays her partner, and the two separate.

After the relationship ends, the story dwells on the protagonist's grief and regret. If it all had to be summed up in one word, that word would be grief.

That feeling is the basis of the psychological drama of the main plot and of any secondary ones that may occur.

After the betrayal, the protagonist feels sad, lonely and everything else the genre asks for. Whether he tries to move on, and whether he gets over it, is left open.

Conclusion

Personally, I rarely consume this kind of story, perhaps because it is not so common. We are used to the cliché of the protagonist who rejects girls while they think of no one else, a pattern so deep-rooted that few dare to break it.

I confess that I appreciate it when a story breaks that cliché. It may sound a bit sadistic, but I enjoy seeing protagonists who, by being passive or apathetic, end up suffering the consequences. This gives me a sense of realism: what appeals to me is the honesty of the narrative. Sometimes it is good to see that not everything ends in the idealized way and that, as in real life, actions (or their absence) have consequences.