Have you ever been curious about what a South Korean wedding is like? Every country has its traditions regarding ceremonies for the union of a couple. And in South Korea, it’s no different; there are traditions related to the party, food, clothing, dance, among others.
And over time, not all traditions remain. That’s why we will see how traditional wedding ceremonies were and what has changed for those of today.
Table of Contents
1 – Wedding in the Koryo Period
The Koryo Period was from 918 to 1392. During this period, marriage was merely a matter of political and economic interests, so it was not common. The founder of the Koryo Dynasty, King T’arejo, had 29 wives and built alliances with aristocratic families by marrying his daughters to his half-brothers. His successors ended up using the same strategy.
The practice of marrying half-siblings to form alliances ended during the Mongol Empire when the Mongol and Korean royal families exchanged princesses. Then marriages between cousins were also permitted. However, consanguineous marriages were prohibited to prevent children from holding positions in the bureaucracy. In the Choson period, it was common for the couple to live together or near the groom’s parents, while in the Koryo period, the couple lived in the same house or near the bride’s parents.
This served to form large families and clans. The marriage usually took place during the woman’s adolescence, and the groom was generally older. It was common for aristocrats to marry younger than commoners. In South Korean weddings, there was an exchange of gifts and a banquet aimed at showcasing the wealth of the bride’s family.
2 – Wedding in the Joseon Period
The Joseon Period was from 1392 to 1910. At that time, a man could have more than one wife, so the primary wife was distinguished from the others, which would facilitate the understanding of the line of succession.
The first wife had to meet the requirement of being a virgin and not being a descendant of lower classes (in the case of marrying someone of good financial standing). But this first wife was not literally the first, but the main one in relation to the others. The classification also occurred from the highest class wife to the lowest class wife.
During this period, marriage between first cousins and people with the same surname was prohibited. In 1427, the age for the first marriage was set at 15 years for men and 14 for women. If the parents were ill or over 50 years old, the age could be reduced to 12 years.
3 – Ancient Traditions
It was traditional for engagement gifts to be received well in advance. These gifts were mostly delivered at the bride’s house. The good side of South Korean weddings is this part of receiving many gifts!
To receive the gifts, the whole family had to participate in a game where the groom’s friends would go to the bride’s house with the gifts in a box called ”hahm”. They would paint their faces and shout: “Hahm for sale! Hahm for sale!”. The bride’s family, accepting the game, would run to the street and offer a certain amount to the group, simulating a form of negotiation to “buy the gifts” from the groom’s friends.
4 – Laws of South Korean Marriage
South Korean marriage has undergone some legal changes. Previously, bourgeois people married very young, but this is no longer allowed. A man must be at least 18 years old and a woman over 16 with parental consent.
At 19 years old (Korean age, which is 20 years in this case), both men and women can marry without permission, and this is also the authorized age for sexual consent.
There is also the ”customary law marriage” which refers to marriages that have not been properly registered, but the couple already lives together and is recognized by others. In South Korea, marriage between same-sex individuals is not recognized.
5 – Pre-Ceremony in South Korean Wedding
The South Korean wedding is based on Confucian teachings, which value family above all. Therefore, marriage is a very important moment in the couple’s life and also for maintaining social status.
The first part of the tradition is called Eui Hon or matchmaking when the families of the bride and groom discuss the possibility of marriage. Then after the discussion, the groom sends a letter with the proposal to the bride, and she replies with her answer. If the bride accepts, the wedding date is already set.
Next, the Napchae (date configuration) is performed, where the wedding information is written on a paper, then wrapped in bamboo branches and tied with red and blue threads, and covered with a red cloth to be sent to the bride’s family.
The last step is called Napp’ae (exchange of valuable objects). This should be done as soon as the wedding date is set. The groom must send a box to the bride, known as Ham. This ritual serves to ensure that the bride marries only one husband. These papers stay with her until her death and must be buried with her. There are also Honsu, which are gifts sent to the bride’s family.
6 – Ceremony
The South Korean wedding is very colorful without neglecting the traditional aspect. There isn’t really a rule regarding clothing, but it is common for brides to wear hanbok, a traditional outfit made of silk, and the groom either a hanbok or a suit.
The most commonly used colors during the wedding and for the attire itself are red and blue (yin and yang, representing the balance of cosmic forces). It is also common for the wedding to take place in the late afternoon. The most common gift for the couple is money inside white envelopes, and there is an exchange of gifts between the families, which can vary.
At this party, dates, tteok (rice cakes), almonds, and nuts are consumed. There is also the Jeonanyrye, which is the ”presentation of the wild goose”. The groom gives wooden ducks to the bride’s family, but it was previously common to give the actual animal as a symbol of loyalty.
Hapgeunrye is the name given when the bride and groom drink from the same copper cup to represent their relationship with each other. Then there is the Paebaek, which is the part of the ceremony where the newlyweds bow. The bride usually gifts the groom’s parents with Korean dates and chestnuts to symbolize children. The bride offers the cup to the father, and the groom offers it to the mother.
The older couple gives advice regarding marriage. Then the dates and chestnuts are thrown back at the bride, who must try to catch them with her wedding skirt – the more she catches, the more prosperity the couple will have. Couples usually strictly follow the traditions so that they can have a good marriage.
7 – Current South Korean Wedding
Currently, not all couples are concerned with following the traditions or at least part of them. But the idea of having ”good luck” by following the standards still exists. However, the average age for the first marriage has doubled compared to data from 2020 from the National Statistical Office of Korea, from around 15 years to 33, in the case of women.
For men, it has increased from 18 years to 30 years now. And to have a South Korean wedding with everything a traditional couple desires costs on average 50 million wons. But many are opting for weddings with fewer traditions and more common elements like a nice white dress, with a veil and tiara, and a suit.
8 – Wedding in Dramas
If you are a fan of dramas, you may have noticed that wedding parties are not so common to appear, not even in the ”happy ending”. Dramas do not emphasize the wedding ceremony much; they focus more on family life. In South Korean weddings, some superstitions that are common to us, like the groom not seeing the bride in her dress, are present; they choose together.
9 – 2 Suggestions for Dramas with South Korean Weddings
Because This Is My First Life (2017) This drama is about a woman who finds herself unhappy with her profession and a methodical man with his habits. She is 30 years old and has given up on her love life because her financial situation is poor. Then she becomes the tenant of the methodical man, and they become housemates. As everything unfolds, they end up having a fake marriage just for their mutual interest but end up developing a certain interest in each other.
What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? (2018) The narcissistic president of a large corporation has a secretary named Kim who is very efficient. But at a certain point, after 9 years of service to her boss, she decides to resign from her position. There is a wedding scene in the middle of the season that shows a bit of what has been read here in the text.
What caught your attention the most about South Korean weddings?
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